When i went to Afghanistan for the summer a few years ago, i took a guitar with me, thinking that the unfamiliar, impoverished, Eastern way of life might be grist for an interesting batch of new songs. And i was partially right; there was a trove of inspiration. But what i experienced there was so foreign, so unanticipated, and so far beyond my vocabulary or powers of expression that i returned home with not a single piece of music. To this day, i still haven’t written an “Afghanistan song.” … It wasn’t that my eyes weren’t open, or that i didn’t want to capture some sense of the place in lyric and music, it’s just that the task was bigger than my toolbox. Perhaps i just didn’t try hard enough; or perhaps i tried too hard to say too much. But it might just be that there are moments in life that are bigger than words, moments that are to be lived and felt without being
i’ve been asked several times, even today, if the past few months — walking through the cancer season with Gary — have prompted any new songs. The short answer is “prompted maybe; produced, ‘no.’” Especially today, on Thanksgiving, i find myself altogether unequipped to express the range of feeling — the joy and the sadness, the powerlessness and the hope, the emptiness and the fullness — that have been part of watching a friend wither away. i’m standing in a new Afghanistan, the difference being that this one has promise where the other was overwhelmingly despondent, that this one is strangely joyful where the other was understandably sad.
That said, i can only report that this Thanksgiving day has been different, mostly in very good ways, than any i’ve ever known, and i sense a gratitude that i can find no words to describe.
Short update on Gary: his condition is much what it was previously. Most days, he takes a morning nap, an afternoon nap, goes to bed early and is quite tired all the time. We’re not sure if that is chemo-related (he took a strong 5 day dose a couple of weeks ago) or the effects of the tumor. Gary remains in good spirits, still insists on desert after every meal, makes us laugh a lot, but is physically exhausted. His daily exercise is a short walk or two (maybe a hundred yards or so, with someone helping him maintain balance) though there are days when even that is a stretch. … We visit the oncologist in a few days.
Our list of things to be thankful for today is lengthy. Good chance if you’re reading this, you’re on it. Thank you.
Always look forward to your updates, Allen. Great pic of Beth and Gary!! So thankful you have such a positive perspective on everything. Know that many pray for your family daily (sometimes the prayers are many times a day).
May God continue to give each of you the strength you need for each moment of each day.
Levi,
‘standing in a new Afghanistan…’ Very well said. How many of us are reluctant even to enter the ‘Afghanistans’ to which we are called or, when we do, stand with eyes close or ears stopped. Here, too, you and Gary are teaching the brethren and sisteren about open eyes, open windows, and the only true hope, that to be found in the Master.
The songs, i am quite certain, are being honed, perhaps for a much later time. i would add, though, that “Sing a Song, Tell a Story” has ministered to many here already. We who read here walk with you as best we can, and are so, so grateful to be able to share in this Christ-ward journey. We hope to learn to live in the spirit of “Perhaps today.”
From the lighthouse,
pat
well said, allen, on many fronts. dealing daily with kids with cancer, i share so many of your thoughts and feelings. naps are good and the desire for dessert, even better. having to provide balance–ugh. hugs to all of you. it is such a bittersweet time, friend. holding you close in my heart and prayers!
Allen,
Your writing make me cry, not with tears of overwhelming sadness but with tears of tenderness and love for a family who loves God, life and each other beyond understanding. You are all an inspiration to me and an example I can only faintly hope to follow. I wish for you , Gary, Beth, our mom and dad all the love of the Season and the Joy of Christ’s birth. Love, Kay
Allen, thanks so much for keeping us up on what is going on in your wonderful lives…God is so faithful…I think of you all so often and pray<love martha..NC
Allen, I came to your concert Friday night in Charlotte. I told you to tell your brother how much his letter you posted on your blog had encouraged me to think of other people, to help others along a hard road as I go through a difficult season in my life. You talked about the resurrection, which I thought was funny at the time and have been pondering that at Christmas the last few days. So then last night our pastor preached such an amazing sermon on … the Resurrection. I couldn’t believe it. Here is the link, if you get a chance to listen. I just looked and it wasn’t posted yet, but should be soon. http://christcovenant.org/sermons/index.html
Thank you also for your song the moon is round. I cannot get that melody out of my mind, I think b/c the Lord is wanting to say that to me right now. I can’t see it right now but the moon is round. thank you. Carolyn
Thank you Carolyn. It was so nice to be with y’all last week in Charlotte. My brother was encouraged by your kind words and was a bit envious, I think, that I’d had the chance to be with such good souls. Hope we can do it again next year. Maybe Gary can come with me. … Every blessing for Christmas. Might we celebrate deeply the promise of “God with us.” gratefully, allen
allen, it sounds like your songs from old and new Afghanistan will be coming from deeper in the well than you’ve ever dipped before. Thanks so much for sharing your walk through this time. My prayers are continuing for you all to have good days, extra strength, joyful Jesus insights, art-inspiring views, glimpses of glory, and healing.
Hi Allen. I met your mother at Walmart (where I work). She told me about you and your brother. I am so deeply sorry for what has happened to your brother. I know you have great faith in Jesus. And thats amazing! I took more time to watch some of your videos and listen to your songs, and I have to say, You are soooooo good!! Well I stopped by to say I hope and pray that your brother gets better. I will come back and check to see your updates. Take care and God bless you and your family.
Matthew, thanks for your kind words and for your visit with my mom this week. The cancer season that we find ourselves in has not been without some very gracious moments. Mom’s meeting you is one such. … I appreciate your listening to some of my tunes, and am happy you enjoyed them. When I’m in town sometime, I’ll stop by. All the best till then, especially for Christmas. Might the reality of “God with us” move our hearts deeply this year. Gratefully, Allen levi
Allen, mom and I just checked for the update on Gary. We love you and we continue to pray for him and for all of you who are so faithful and loving. We hope that you continue to find the gracious moments in this. Betty Walker says for me to tell you, ” The Great, “I AM” is with you every step of the journey. ” Manaw and Big Buddy are in pretty good shape, for the shape they’re in….. Wishing you and your family the blessings God brings for this Christmas season. Love love love you, brother!
oh yeah…. and Big Buddy insists on a Twix for dessert every meal, too. Even breakfast!
Dear Allen and Gary, your precious words are your song. God has gifted you not only with your music but your ability to allow us to feel what you and your familly are feeling, going through this time of stretching and growing with Gary. How do people make it daily without the presence of God in their lives? We will continue to lift your family before the throne daily and will be honored to be a small part of seeing how God works His perfect will in the Levi family. Love you guys, praying this will be a Christmas filled with peace and joy found in Jesus!
Beautiful – just beautiful, the pictures your paint for us with your words and music. Yes, God is with all of us. How blessed we are to know that beyond anything and everything, He is here.
We love you’all.